Finest vacation in awhile, go figure, never, ever know what life will bring…happiness in all sorts of forms, awe, wonder, rest, peace, connection, solitude, togetherness, physical, emotional, visceral, sensual, intellectual, all those things a body needs to be whole, restored to oneness, coming together at last….long dark night may be ending, just in time to end the summer, host graduation, prepare for fall, new year dawning, year one post separation down, new life beginning to emerge, even looking forward to fall and winter, while swimming the last cool swim in the lake near dinner time with my girl, floating on my back in the darkening water while she lay on the beach atop her towel and beneath mine, chilly on a beach for the first time all summer.  I floated and looked at the sky, looked at the inside of my eyelids, felt the water hold me up, wondered at the melting of my body into the lake, held the Donald Hall poems in my mind, just read on the beach, collected from the yard sale in town, held by the folks at St. John’s, a tradition, buying their used goods, happy to find Donald Hall there in the box, among other treats and treasures, happy to be home again in my body and my soul, never know when you might depart, when you might return. Wait and wonder and hope.

And now back to the mundane. Read the mail. Boys brought the bags in from the van. Time to put away the local food, to wash the clothes, to ease my mind and body back to work. More work tomorrow. And as always, I’m looking forward to it, very lucky in my job to have it as a world of wonder, kids back from their vacations, too, with stories and feelings and bodies needing to share and care and to be looked after and loved. How much more could I ask? Make the bread, cut the melon, butter the toast, pour the milk, talk the talk, walk the walk, watch and wonder and they’ll make their little worlds anew, time after time after time, right before our eyes, in our arms, all around us, day after day after day. Hard to know what work would suit me better. Home again there, too, years of angst about making a new place, moving on, brought me right back here, surer I want to be here and wondering as always, what next, what next, what next, only this time thinking mainly of our little world, letting the big world take care of itself for awhile while we hunker down and figure out again what it is that makes this little one just right.

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